Description
Sample Jokes found in the Book...
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last; which is why I don't have to clean the toilet because, come on, who wants to clean the toilet on the last day of her life?
Funerals are so expensive. When my uncle died, my aunt couldn't afford a casket; so she bought him a suit with six handles.
The epitaph on the tombstone of the bomb disposal expert who died in the course of duty reads: REST IN PIECES.
A preacher was preaching on the reality of hell. He said, "Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:13, that hell is a place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." "That's the least of my worry, preacher, 'cause all my teeth have disappeared," replied an old cynic. "Don't you worry," the preacher hit back, "in your case, teeth will be provided."
Husband (shouting): For the last time, Susie, are you coming down?
Wife: Haven't I been telling you for the last one hour that I'll be down in a minute.
Three of the old favourites have been released with new lyrics to accommodate the aging audience:
Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now.
ABBA- Denture Queen.
The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?
When you get old, kissing may be dangerous. It can turn into mouth-to- mouth resuscitation.
